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  • Writer's pictureAbby

How to Host the Perfect Party for Swingers

Creating the perfect atmosphere when hosting a swinger party of a couple from the lifestyle goes beyond the basics of a clean home and some light refreshments – that’s like table stakes. Unlike casual gatherings with vanilla friends, where the focus may be on watching a game or sharing a meal, hosting friends with benefits involves a more nuanced approach to setting the mood and ensuring everyone is comfortable. You want to create an environment that sets the stage for a hot and sexy night. From the choice of food to the ideal location within your home and even the role of alcohol, each element contributes to the overall experience. In this article, we'll delve into how to craft the ultimate setting that caters to both the emotional and physical aspects of your soon-to-be perfect get-together.

Picking the Right Place

When your guests walk in, where are you taking them? Most people would gravitate to the living room or, if you're like Jake and me, everyone ends up in the kitchen. However, if you're going to play with the people you’ve invited, you need to consider where that happens and what’s appropriate. Is your bedroom fair game, or do you consider that a sacred place just for you two? Maybe you're thinking of keeping the action in the living room—if so, are your curtains or blinds doing their job? Trust me, you don't want to become the evening show for your dog-walking neighbor. Or, like one couple we know, do you have a special room in the house designated for group play? In the case of this couple (whom we didn’t play with), they have a spare room with two queen beds pushed together and a sex swing in the corner! Either way, plan so the space feels right. You don’t want to be scrambling to figure out where to move a coffee table when the action begins to heat up.

Creating the Right Ambiance

Okay, once you know where you’re going to play, you can start to consider how to make the room feel comfortable, inviting, and sexy. Let’s start with lighting. As we know, it’s one of the most powerful tools for crafting an intimate atmosphere. Additionally, dim lighting can make people who might be a little body conscious, feel more at ease. You can opt for dimmable lights to have better control over the illumination level or go for softer options like candles or fairy lights, which can infuse the room with a sensual, almost magical aura. Or, you might want to consider swapping out one of the regular white bulbs for red ones which add a sultry mood. Pillows and cushions should be plush and inviting, offering comfort while also serving as functional pieces for various forms of play. Some couples even use a designated 'play sheet' that can be spread out to manage any wet spots, ensuring that the focus stays on the pleasure rather than potential messes.

Your guests will likely bring their own but as a good host, you should consider keeping hygiene and safety items, like condoms and possibly even dental dams, readily available, ideally in discreet but easily accessible spots. Towels and robes can offer convenience for any post-play cleanup or a quick cover-up, adding a spa-like luxury to your setting. A thoughtfully placed bowl of individually wrapped mints can provide a quick mouth refresh, eliminating any worries about bad breath in close quarters. Don't forget a dash of carefully chosen fragrances—either in the form of room sprays, scented candles, or even diffusers with essential oils—that can add another layer to the sensual experience, engaging the sense of smell in the shared adventure.

In essence, the ambiance should make everyone feel at ease and heighten the collective experience. It's not just about setting up a Playboy mansion-style playroom, it's about creating an environment that caters to both the emotional and physical, making for a well-rounded, unforgettable evening for your friends with benefits.

What Food to Serve

When hosting a lifestyle couple, the last thing you want is for your guests to feel weighed down by a heavy meal, which is why light fare is your go-to option. Think tapas-style dishes, perhaps a selection of cheeses, fruits, and some veggies with dips. These foods are not only universally appealing but also easily digestible, ensuring that everyone stays alert and engaged.

As mentioned above, the aroma in the room plays a significant role in setting the atmosphere, which is why you want to avoid foods with strong odors like garlic or onions. These might be fantastic for a cooking class or dinner party but can be a real mood-killer in a more intimate setting. Instead, consider serving mildly scented or neutral foods that can be enjoyed without leaving a lingering smell. One thing Jake and I like to do is to put out lots of classic candy. Swinging is a joyful, fun activity with friends and it just feels like a bag of Twizzlers and a box of Milk Duds seem to go hand in hand with that and puts everyone in a good mood.

The Thing about Alcohol

A great icebreaker is to have everyone bring an idea for a mixed drink and then make small versions of them but as you know alcohol can be both a social lubricant and a potential buzzkill. While a glass of wine or a well-crafted cocktail can help your guests relax and lower inhibitions, you want to avoid overindulging. Too much alcohol can impair judgment, lead to sloppy interactions, and even derail the whole experience. We know of one couple whose night went south as soon as someone at a party threw up after one too many shots. So, moderation is the keyword here, and it's essential to keep an eye on how much is being consumed. And remember, as a host, it’s imperative that you not let any guest drive if they’ve been drinking.


Also, it's worth noting that not everyone drinks alcohol, so offering a variety of non-alcoholic options is a considerate touch. Whether it's sparkling water, mocktails, or a selection of herbal teas for the post-play hang, having choices available ensures that everyone's preferences are catered to, making for a more inclusive atmosphere.

By being thoughtful in your food and drink selections, you’re not only enhancing the overall experience but also demonstrating your attentiveness and care, which can go a long way in making your gathering a memorable one.

Setting the Mood with Music

As we know, music can play a vital role in setting the mood. It's the invisible yet palpable thread that weaves through your gathering, adding depth to both emotional and physical connections. It's like the flickering of a carefully placed candle or the subtle scent of an inviting fragrance, completing the sensory experience of your space. The right tunes can convert a casual meet-up into an unforgettable evening.

Music is an unspoken language that has the power to enrich the entire experience for everyone involved and depending on your preferences, there’s a wide array of genres to consider. Rock, pop, jazz, R&B, and country can all bring a sultry sophistication to your setting. And if you're leaning into timeless romance, then a playlist of ballads might be your go-to. The key is to consider the mood you're aiming for and craft your playlist accordingly. Here’s the best news. You no longer have to spend hours curating the playlist yourself. Music streaming services like Spotify have done it for you. There you’ll find a huge library of bedroom playlists featuring new artists like The Weeknd, Usher, Doja Cat, and Rihanna. Or classics like Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye, Wicked Game by Chris Issak, or Joe Cocker’s “You Can Leave Your Hat On” – the quintessential song to strip to. There are even tracks from movies like Fifty Shades of Grey and a playlist called, Freaky Bedroom. In short, whatever dirty sexy mood you want to set, there’s a playlist for that.

Here are just a few to get you started:

By integrating the right playlist into your gathering, you're not just elevating the atmosphere but also offering a sonic promise of the intriguing possibilities the night holds.

Don't underestimate the power of music as a subtle signal for changing the atmosphere. Imagine you've been circulating with cocktails and chit-chat, and now you're ready to transition to a more intimate setting. Instead of a formal announcement, a simple shift in your playlist's tempo or genre can send the message seamlessly. Switching from lively indie rock to sultrier R&B, for instance, can serve as a non-verbal cue, signaling your guests that the tone of the evening is evolving. This kind of sonic signaling can help manage the flow of your gathering without making anyone feel rushed or awkward, guiding the night smoothly from casual socializing to deeper connections.

Lastly, balancing volume is crucial: it should be loud enough to be immersive but subtle enough not to dominate conversations. The goal is to find the sweet spot where the music is immersive enough to envelop your guests, setting the emotional tone, but not so loud that it drowns out conversation. It should serve as a backdrop, allowing space for verbal and non-verbal exchanges, laughter, and meaningful moments of eye contact. Remember, a gathering is a dynamic entity, so don't hesitate to tweak the volume as the evening progresses, making sure it aligns with the fluctuating energies and moods of your guests.

Additional Things to Considering when Hosting

Time Management

Don't underestimate the importance of pacing. The evening should flow naturally from one phase to the next. It can be helpful to have a loose schedule in mind so you can guide the evening without making it feel forced. This is where you play host and director, subtly moving events along while ensuring everyone is comfortable and engaged.

Consider Your Guests' Preferences

Take some time beforehand to understand the likes and dislikes of your guests. Whether it's a specific music genre they can't stand or a food allergy you need to be aware of, little details can make a big difference in how comfortable everyone feels.

Cleanliness and Hygiene

While this might seem obvious, make sure the bathroom is stocked with essentials like extra toilet paper, hand towels, and hygiene products. In the context of a more intimate gathering, cleanliness becomes even more critical.

Safety Measures

Depending on how intimate the evening is expected to become, it's a good idea to have a "safety station" stocked with condoms, lube, and wipes for any sexual toys that are part of the party. This is about facilitating a safe environment where everyone can relax and enjoy themselves without worry.

Guest Comfort Items

Consider adding some "comfort items" like blankets, robes, or slippers. They offer guests a way to feel more at home and can be especially appreciated as the evening winds down.

Digital Dos and Don'ts

Finally, consider the role of technology. While snapping pics could be fun, make sure everyone is on board with the idea to avoid any discomfort. If the consensus is to keep phones away, provide a designated area for guests to leave their devices. Balancing these elements can make the difference between an ordinary gathering and an extraordinary one, setting the stage for an evening that everyone will remember for all the right reasons.

Getting the Party Started

Once you've successfully created the right ambiance, set the mood, and taken care of every detail to ensure a great time, it’s important to appreciate that there will still be some nervousness and anxiety. To help mitigate that, a great icebreaker game like The Game of Lifestyle’s Ice Breaker Edition is perfect to get the ball rolling. The game “breaks the ice” as players take turns asking provocative questions about each other’s sex life. The answers get people talking, laughing, and opening up about their sexual preferences, likes, and dislikes.

From there, you can progress to the Hot ‘n Heavy Edition – a game designed to get couples playing. The action gets started as players take turns reading cards and carrying out the sexually charged directions. The cards get gradually hotter as the game progresses. There are also expansion packs that turn up the heat with full-on intercourse, anal, and bi-sexual play. The card games are designed to make seamless transitions from playful banter to tantalizing escapades, whether you're a newbie or a seasoned swinger.

Final Thoughts on Hosting the Perfect Party for Swingers

Hosting a couple for the first time is more than just cleaning the house and setting out some snacks; it's about paying attention to the details that make everyone feel comfortable and engaged. This includes everything from the physical environment—like lighting and room setup—to the emotional atmosphere, which can be significantly influenced by your choice of music. A well-planned get-together can turn a casual gathering into a memorable experience that everyone enjoys. So when you're planning your next hosting gig, remember it's the small touches, carefully planned, that elevate a get-together from ordinary to extraordinary.



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