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10 Juicy Myths About Swinging that People Believe — But Shouldn't!

Updated: Sep 3, 2023

Okay, let’s have a good old myth-busting party! 🎉


Ever felt like there are a ton of questionable “facts” made about swingers? Ever felt the need to defend the swinging lifestyle against a barrage of misconceptions and judgments? You're not alone! The persistence of these myths likely stems from the fact that swinging remains a somewhat taboo topic in mainstream society. It's the subject of both intrigue and scandal, captivating the public's imagination so much that the media regularly reports on ridiculous "symbols," that swingers use to signal that they’re swingers – from red Adirondack chairs to gnomes on the front porch, to pink flamingos in an RV park. These myths cloud the reality of everyday people like us who simply choose a different path to sexual expression and connection. Now, let's tackle the top 10 myths that persistently circulate within our vibrant lifestyle community!


Myth 1️⃣ Swinging is Just a Sex-Fuelled Free-For-All!

Let's clear up some misconceptions. Swinging isn't just about erotic escapades and orgies; it's a multifaceted lifestyle that extends beyond the bedroom. Sure, an incredible sexual component is there, but most in the community also form meaningful friendships. You'll find people attending swinger clubs just to bask in the charged atmosphere, without necessarily swapping partners. Others engage in social activities like dinners and concerts, strengthening bonds that go beyond physical attraction and the hotel room. The key ingredients? Open communication, shared interests, and crystal-clear boundaries. No one's diving into any new experiences without thorough discussion and mutual consent!

Myth 2️⃣ Jealousy isn’t a thing

Jealousy exists in every corner of human experience, including the swinging lifestyle. But let's clarify: the jealousy we encounter is seldom tied to the sexual aspect. Why? Because we're not hung up on sex as a taboo or exclusive act. It’s just not something we believe must be shared with one person and one person, only, forever and ever, amen. Marriage is a human construct – a beautiful one at that. And it lays the foundation for a wonderful life of shared experiences – great ones and challenging ones – but the notion that you should only ever enjoy one person sexually is not something we buy into. So, jealousy around the act is not something swingers encounter much. In fact, many of us experience compersion—feeling joy when our partner enjoys pleasure with someone else. Jake, for instance, doesn't get jealous watching another man bring me pleasure; he's genuinely happy for me. We address jealousy not by avoiding it but by discussing it openly, helping us better understand each other's feelings and desires. We tackle it, we talk it out, and we grow from it. If you’re considering entering the lifestyle but have strong feelings of jealousy, it could potentially be harmful and we strongly suggest having an open and honest conversation with your partner.


Myth 3️⃣ Swingers Aren’t Truly Committed to Their Partner

This one gets my blood boiling! The misconception that swinging signifies a lack of commitment couldn't be further from the truth. Many of us are in strong, enduring relationships, considering our partners not just life companions but soulmates. Swinging, for us, is an enriching journey that adds another layer of depth to our relationship. Far from being a loophole to escape commitment, it's a shared adventure that can enhance trust, deepen emotional connections, and bring a new level of openness to a relationship. It's not about seeking something missing; it's about amplifying what's already great. It's a way to grow as a couple, continuously discovering new facets of each other while expanding our understanding of intimacy.


Myth 4️⃣ It’s a Man’s World

Far from being a male-dominated space, women in the swinging community are just as active and engaged as men. Both men and women are equal players in the game. And trust me, women are not just passive participants; they are empowered decision-makers in their own right. Women in the swinging world aren't just along for the ride. They're typically the ones calling the shots and making decisions. In our case, it's not a one-sided game; Jake and I talk openly about what we’re comfortable doing and with whom. From setting the rules to where we’re playing, we’re both active participants. So it's a balanced playground where everyone's voice matters.


Myth 5️⃣ Swinging = Cheating, Right?

Absolutely not! Cheating is a breach of trust; swinging is built on trust. Cheating involves deceit, but swinging is built on trust and open relationships. Totally different ball game, my friends. Transparency and consent make all the difference in the world.


Myth 6️⃣ You Can't Be Religious and Be a Swinger

You'd be surprised! Spirituality and sexual exploration aren't mutually exclusive. For a lot of swingers, diving into this lifestyle actually enhances their spiritual journey. Far from pushing spirituality to the sidelines, swinging can deepen the emotional and spiritual bonds you form, making each experience rich in more ways than one. There are even swinger dating sites like christianswingers.com that cater to people whose faith matters. Many people bring spirituality and sexual exploration together!


Myth 7️⃣ It's Just a Phase

Think it's just a passing fad? Think again! For many, swinging isn't just a fleeting phase to jazz up stuff happening (or not) in the bedroom. It's a continual adventure in sexual and emotional self-discovery. As people grow within the lifestyle, they often evolve—maybe starting with soft swaps and eventually exploring more as they get comfortable and meet like-minded couples. It becomes such an integral part of their lives that they even plan vacations around swinging events and communities. For some, it's been a relationship game-changer, breathing new life into marriages and partnerships.


Myth 8️⃣ They catch STDs all the time

Contrary to the myth, responsible swingers take sexual health very seriously. In our experience, we've never encountered a couple who was open to foregoing protection. Routine testing and safe practices are practically a community standard. For us, testing is something we’ve added to regular check-ups. After all, the goal is pleasurable experiences for all, not health risks. Safety measures aren't an afterthought; they're part of the lifestyle's foundation.


Myth 9️⃣ Swingers Only Swing with Friends

Contrary to the myth that swingers only swing with friends, the lifestyle actually offers a diverse range of social settings for making new connections. From clubs to private events, opportunities abound for meeting different people. In most cases, hosts at these gatherings really go out of their way to introduce newcomers to the community. It’s all very inviting. And while friendships do often form, the swinging lifestyle is just as much about exploring new relationships as it is about deepening existing ones. Variety is a hallmark of the experience, and the lifestyle serves up a rich buffet of social encounters!

Myth 🔟 Only 'Hot People' Swing

Let's shatter the myth that only 'hot people' engage in swinging. The reality is, that the swinging community is as diverse as any other, full of people from all walks of life. While physical attraction does play a role, it's far from the only factor. Swingers are everyday individuals—not to burst your bubble, but you’re not likely to encounter very many professional athletes or supermodels, if at all, haha. You’ll find women who have had kids (and the stretch marks to prove it) and who struggle with weight. A lot of guys have receding hairlines (or are already bald) and have the classic dad-bod. We find it all beautiful and sexy. For us, the true beauty of the swinging lifestyle lies not just in physical attractiveness but in a genuine appreciation for human diversity and the many forms of attraction that come with it. A person’s sexiness comes from their personality, humor, and confidence. Looks will only get you so far. Regardless, whatever your type is, beauty abounds in the swinging community and there’s someone for everyone.


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